The wedding season is upon us, and its time to manoeuvere the minefield of wedding wear etiquette. We want to look great, but not upstage the bride. We want to exude grace and elegance, but we also want to do the macarena at 2am. I’ve been looking at the “Wedding Guest” suggestions on various websites and, tbh, it’s all a bit… well… generic.
So, assuming you’re not going to wear a white lacy dress and veil, what do you wear? Here are a few tips…
Breastfeeding Mother: You’ve been so looking forward to a grown up day. You’ve spent the last, god knows how long, wearing jogging bottoms and stained tshirts, you’re tired, people still think you are pregnant. What do you wear?
All these are under £50 (have you seen the prices of breastfeeding/maternity dresses? It’s extortion) and are proper nursing dresses. I particularly like the middle one, it’s so pretty and genuinely dressy. The others are probably more versatile, throw on with a pair of killer heels and you’re good to go. But weddings are special occasions, and you want to feel and look nice.
Pregnant and Peed Off: You’re tired, you have heartburn and you can’t remember the last time you saw your toes.
It’s been a long time since I was pregnant, but I remember attending a wedding and feeling like a heifer. This was before every shop had a website (told you in was a long time ago) and the standard of maternity wear is so much better now. My favourite is probably the one from Seraphine. It just looks so comfortable and not a ditsy flower in sight.
The Co-Workers Wedding: You are best-work-friends. You have made up rude nicknames for your bosses and been out for lots of “just the one”s. But you are going to a function that will be full of their university friends, relatives, and that woman who simulated a sex act on the hen do.
See, at a workmates wedding you are unlikely to know many people and it’s not really the place to make a statement. It’s probably best to keep to classic shapes and/or neutral colours. I particularly like the middle one, the left would be great on pear shaped women, the middle on athletic shapes and the right on those with curves.
The Plus One: You don’t actually know the happy couple, a friend, or someone you’ve been seeing quite casually, has asked if you will accompany them to a wedding where they will know far more people than you. You want to make a good impression and feel comfortable.
All are very feminine and not too eyecatching, as with the co-workers wedding, you don’t want to stand out too much, but you still want to look nice. Mini-skirts are out of the question, as are ultra bright colours, but that doesn’t mean you have to look dull. Dress on the left, I would team with navy accessories (although, if you’re braver than me you can wear red instead) the centre dress would look fab with gold and cream accessories, gold earrings, cream bag with gold clasp (something like this from John Lewis) and cream shoes. The Next dress would work beautifully with a sleek hairdo, and black accessories.
The Relative You Don’t Really Like: They pulled your hair when you were 8. They told your parent on you all the time. They told their parents on you all the time. And now someone you have never met has pledged to spend eternity with them, but you still remember the humilliation of them pulling your jeans down in front of your whole family.
Family events are often fraught, you want to avoid drama, but still subtley stick two fingers up at the people who you would never see again if you weren’t related. There are rules about what to wear as a guest to a wedding. No white dresses, no black and no white/cream lace. The ones I’ve chosen are theoretically perfectly fine, but they massage the stroppy teenager who only dressed as a goth, to annoy your parents.
The Ex’s Wedding:
There was a time when you thought you would be the person standing there, or your husband/partner thought he would be the groom, either way ex’s weddings can be awkward for both of you. Especially if you knew their family too. So, you don’t want to look like you are running away. The red dress would be great if it’s your husband/partners ex who is getting married. Suitably vampy, but not too OTT. The centre dress is grown up. It shows that you aren’t the same person you were at university, while the dress on the right is incredibly flattering, so it doesn’t matter whether you have put on half a stone or five, since seeing these people last.
The “I Don’t Even Know Why They’re Bothering”: The couple you are friends with, who have been living together for the last 10 years. They have a house, three kids and a dog. Suddenly they announce that they are getting married for practical reasons. The wedding is casual and the reception is a village hall, or their back garden.
All very simple, no fuss and versatile. The centre dress is a very pale pink, so would need nude shoes and a simple clutch, the dress on the left is probably my favourite, you can wear it with a pair of flip flops after the event, ditto the dress on the right. Plus, I love that shade of blue.
The Intimidators: The people you know well enough, but they are cool and scare you a bit.
All are quite glamorous and have that sophisticated “adult” look about them. I particularly like the River Island dress, actually, scrap that, I LOVE the River Island dress. The colour, which is one I can’t wear, the shape, the slit, I need someone to buy it so that I can live vicariously! I really like the structured shaping on the HoF one and the Oasis dress has a resolutely 60’s vibe to it.
So, there we are, an alternative wedding guest what to wear. Have fun, don’t drink too much bubbly, and, as ever, Happy Fabulizing!